“Oh,” Trance said as she spotted the muffins sitting on Harper’s toolbox. “You got some too then?” Harper gave her a surprised look.
“Yeah,” he said, “um…I guess you did as well?” Trance nodded enthusiastically.
“Raspberry ones,” she confirmed, “they were really nice. I think Beka made some for everyone. Why haven’t you eaten yours?” Harper looked away, blushing slightly.
“Um, I just…I wanted to save them.” Trance wisely did not comment. “So…did you get a note with yours?” Trance’s expression turned serious and she nodded grimly.
“Yeah. She was…apologising a lot. Dylan says she did in his too…and Rommie’s. Don’t know about Tyr.” Harper bit his lip.
“Trance, do you think…do you think something might be…wrong with her?”
“Yes.” Harper waited a few moments for an elaboration on this, but none came.
“Well, what do you think it is?” Trance sighed.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “She’s…been acting strange lately. And she looks ill.” So he wasn’t the only one to notice. It made relief and worry surge through him at the same time.
“Did you call her in for a check up?” Trance nodded.
“I tried. She keeps making excuses. Thing is, she’s been really weird about it. I’m worried if I get Dylan to order her, something bad might happen.” Harper frowned.
“Like what?” he asked. He knew Trance could sometimes speak in riddles, and go all mysterious on him, but this really wasn’t the time to be an enigma.
“I don’t know,” she said aloofly, “I just…” she trailed off, glancing at him with a somewhat stern look. “Just trust me, ok?” Harper nodded. What did she mean? Did she always have to be so…confusing?
****
No one had said anything about the muffins. Not even a thanks. Beka quickly wiped a tear away and reprimanded herself.
“They were only muffins,” she said out loud. Well, so she hadn’t expected anyone to bow, but a brief thanks would have been nice. She shrugged. “Maybe they weren’t nice,” she thought. After all, it had been the first time she made muffins, and she didn’t actually know what they tasted like. But still. She’d at least expected Harper to say something. Chocolate muffins were his favourite. She took a small sip of water as she prepared to go to the gym. Her body was slightly shaking with exhaustion already, after slipstreaming repeatedly on command, but she was generally tired, and she was getting used to it. After working out for an hour or so, she’d go to sleep. It worked. Kind of.
****
As she ran on the treadmill, furiously ignoring the urge to pass out on the floor, her thoughts wandered. Harper.
Even if it had been a pity kiss, it had been a little harsh to run out on him like that. He was only trying to be nice, and even though it was humiliating that he thought of her like she needed to be pitied, it must have been quite hurtful. She had tried to rectify that with the muffins, showing him they were still friends, but obviously it wasn’t enough.
“So what can I do?” she mused. The more she thought about it, the more pathetic the muffins idea seemed. It wouldn’t surprise her if he’d just thrown them away without a second look. Come on. He did all that just to make her feel better, and she gives him muffins? She shook her head at her own stupidity. Well, all she could do was think of was to try something else. Tears started surfacing in her eyes, and she angrily blinked him away. She couldn’t, she wouldn’t lose his friendship. Not on top of everything else!
Suddenly it was all clear. She could take him out. Not on a date, obviously, but she could suggest they go to a bar or something. He generally seemed to like bars. He could drink, she could see…well, see if they were ok.
Part of her, never mind she’d never admit it, but part of her, a very very small part, hoped that it hadn’t been a pity kiss. Ok, so she knew it had been. Of course it had. But what if? What if he, not ever caring about what she looked like, had wanted to kiss her? Regardless if she was fat or not? Was that possible?
Of course it wasn’t. She sternly told herself to stop being stupid. He’d never fancy her. Was it just a coincidence that he suddenly did when she was…well, a bit vulnerable? He was just a really good friend, and wanted her to feel good about herself. Unless…she tried to reproduce in her mind the image she’d seen in the mirror earlier. Had she lost so much weight she looked attractive now? The thought nearly knocked her off the treadmill before she regained her sense. Was she kidding? She snorted and gave a small laugh. Attractive? Her? Yeah, right. She stepped off the treadmill, almost not noticing her gasps of trying to regain her breath. She’d got so used to doing that lately, she could almost disconnect that part of her brain that was trying for oxygen.
“So where do I take Harper?” she mused. There were always drifts around. She could just ask him to go to one, and the best thing about it, it was safe. Harper never ate when he went to bars, he always just drank. And drank. And drank, quite a lot. Never really got drunk though. Amazing stamina, unfortunately only when it came to alcohol though. So she wouldn’t have to eat, and he wouldn’t question her drinking just water either. He knew she didn’t drink. She smiled to herself.
“Yeah. I’ll ask him to go to a bar with me.”
****
Harper was nervous. Very nervous. But he had to thank Beka for the muffins. She was obviously trying to make nice, and he wasn’t going to resist her. The kiss thing, it had obviously been too much for her, and he regretted it deeply. He should have waited. He’d need to talk to her about it at some point, but now? It had been a very bad idea. Still, he needed to make friends again. Not only because he missed her around, but also he wanted to find out what was wrong. No, he needed to find out what was wrong. He found Beka in the Maru. Her hair was wet so she’d probably just come out of the shower. He thanked his lucky stars he hadn’t come a minute earlier, because she was now dressed. He couldn’t even imagine how embarrassing that would have been! To his surprise, she smiled at him.
“I just wanted to say…thanks for the muffins.” He decided not to mention anything about their disastrous dinner date. She nodded awkwardly.
“That was nothing,” she said quickly. “Um, I was thinking…” She trailed off, giving him a sort of pleading look. He smiled at her, trying to encourage her to continue. “I was thinking, you were talking about shore leave and…well I can’t offer you shore leave. But maybe we could go out?” His eyes widened. She was asking him for a date?
“You mean…”
“We could go to a bar or something,” she hurried to say. His mood dropped, but he was determined not to let her know.
“I thought I’d determined I wasn’t going to do anything like that,” he told himself angrily, then gave her a smile. “That’d be great,” he said. On a drift I guess?” She seemed relieved that he’d agreed, which confused him. Had she thought he’d turn her down? More likely to be the other way around, wasn’t it?
“I mean, only if you want of course,” she added uncertainly, “but…well you like going to bars, don’t you?” He smiled and nodded at her, telling himself that this was a great thing. Even if it wasn’t a date.
“Yeah of course, I’ll try not to get drunk though,” he joked. She giggled.
“It’s a date then,” she said. He froze. Was it?
