Some missions were easy. Some were fun, some were exciting. Some missions Harper looked forward to going to with pleasure. This was not one of those missions. He walked into the Maru with nausea and a strange feeling of walking towards his doom. Or something of the sort.
“Beka? Are you still here?” What a stupid question. Of course she was still there, where else would she be? A small voice answered him from the cockpit.
“Yeah…” He walked over to where she was sitting in the pilot’s seat and was pleased to see she’d showered and dressed. She was wearing the trousers she’d bought with him, and he could see they had been folded along the waist with the help of a tight-sitting belt. She was wearing one of his shirts, and the way it hung off her tiny frame suggested it should also be too long. Not that it was. Harper sighed at his own lack in height. “Sorry…I, er…” She motioned to the shirt and he shook his head.
“No, that’s fine,” he said absently. The shirt? Why would he care about the shirt when he was just about to commit suicide?
“Though maybe she can’t attack me in this state,” he mused, then flinched with disgust at his own thoughts. “Ugh. Don’t think like that.” Beka wouldn’t attack him…would she? He swallowed.
“Sorry about…earlier,” she mumbled. “I just…I don’t know…flipped.” He sighed and sank down on the floor next to her.
“No, I’m sorry,” he said, “I probably shouldn’t have said that.” She shrugged.
“It’s your opinion,” she said, a little coolly, “you had a right to say it.” He wanted to inform her that it wasn’t his opinion, it was the truth, but decided against it. So he was learning something. He pondered for a second which was more important. Get her to eat, or get her to Trance? He seriously doubted he could do both. Actually, he seriously doubted he could do either.
“When you’re ready,” he said, as casually as he could, praying his voice wasn’t trembling, “Trance wants to see you.” Her head spun around quickly, her eyes wide.
“What for?” Her voice sounded suppressed, like she was trying to be calm. Just like him then.
“Just a check-up,” he said, standing up. She sighed and sank back in her seat, crawling into a little ball. He tried to smile at her, but it felt slightly strained. “I know, I hate them too.” He knew her fears were nothing like his ones. Actually, he never really feared them, he just didn’t like them. “But you know, you’ve got to do them!” he chirped, and got a small whimper in response. “I’ll carry you if I have to,” he teased, half joking.
“You couldn’t,” she mumbled with a slight twinkle in her eye.
“Can,” he said with a grin. “I did…from the bar.” She blushed for a second.
“Maybe so,” she retorted, matching his grin, “but I didn’t put up a fight then, did I?” His expression suddenly turned serious, and hers mimicked his.
“Honestly, Beka. You have to go, all right? If you just do what Trance asks you, she’ll let you do stuff like stay here…go back on duty. You know.” Would she? He only hoped his assumptions were right. Beka sighed.
“All right,” she agreed. “I’ll go to Trance’s stupid check-up. But I was only there yesterday.” Harper shrugged.
“Yeah, I think it’s just some form of…assessment. I’m not really sure.”
****
“She needs to put on weight Harper. Quickly.” Harper threw a glance over at Beka, who obviously wasn’t hearing what they were saying.
“I know,” he sighed. “But what do I do? Strap her down and force-feed her? She won’t eat!” Trance sighed.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It has to be her choice. All we can do is encourage her, not judge her…although…” Harper frowned.
“What?” Trance shifted uncomfortably.
“I’m the medic,” she blurted out, “and I have to do…things. She won’t like me for a while, so you have to be a very, very good friend. She has to trust you, because she won’t trust me. I have to talk about her weight, assess her progress or lack of it and maybe even force her to eat. So you have to be supportive and just try not to think of the illness. Stay with her. Give her whatever you’re eating, encourage her to eat, but don’t force her. It’s vital here that she trusts you, do you understand Harper?” He nodded slowly. “Ok. Good. Now, we need to talk about what to do.” Harper raised a finger.
“Um, one question please, Your Purpleness?” Trance gave him a tired smile.
“Yes Harper?”
“Why did I need to bring her here, if we’re just talking?” Trance nodded to the bed Beka was sat on.
“I’m just taking readings. I’m going to talk to her too. Now, first thing I’m going to do is put her on antidepressants.” Harper’s eyes widened and Trance sighed. “Yes, Harper. I think it will help to pull her out of this thing she’s got going on, because anorexia and depression goes very much hand-in-hand. I’m going to bring her in every week to check up on her, but in between that, it’s up to you. Of course not entirely. That’s important too Harper, remember you don’t have to take the whole responsibility, even if you are closer to her than anyone else. Dylan has agreed to let you take time off, but remember to take care of yourself as well. Everyone will be happy to help you, and there is no problem with leaving her on her own. It’s just the eating you really need to help me with. Ok?” At Harper’s nod she continued, “I’m also going to suggest therapy, but I’m not sure who with. We don’t really have a therapist and…” Andromeda popped up.
“Actually, I have some knowledge of therapy.” Trance nodded.
“Good! So are we all ok with this?”
“Yeah, I guess.” Harper looked back at Beka and swallowed. He knew Trance was right about not having to be with her all the time, but…she’d always been there for him. It wouldn’t feel right to leave her now.
