“Good days sleep,” she reminded herself. They worked at night and slept in the day, not that it made any difference. She never went out, so day and night were pretty much the same. She stood up and went to the door, opening it slightly. Adna was standing outside, and Beka was surprised. She’d only really talked to her a few times, and it had been all about blocking out feelings and things like that. The older woman smiled at her.
“You’ve been keeping a bit to yourself,” she commented, “I was wondering if you’d like to join the rest of us for breakfast?” Beka hesitantly nodded, reminding herself that making friends, while it would make leaving harder eventually, would help her survive the time she had to stay. As she stepped out, she noticed a few women standing there, waiting. It was awkward…very awkward, but then again, there was no place you’d be more accepted than among prostituted rape victims, was there?
****
“But Dylan…” The captain shook his head.
“Spare me Trance, I’ve already had it from Harper.” She clenched her fists in frustration.
“This isn’t the same,” she cried, and finally he stopped, turning to her with a tired look on his face.
“I had a dream,” she said, a bit calmer. “You know I can see things Dylan, you know it!” Dylan rested his forehead in his palm, sighing.
“Trance,” he said, his voice pushed into a calm he obviously wasn’t feeling, “I want to find Beka too, ok? But she wanted to leave! How long will it take for everyone to understand that! She hasn’t been kidnapped. She hasn’t gone off on a dangerous mission. She left, and she’s managed on her own long before we…you…I, came along. What would she think of us if we came after her?”
“That we’re her friends?” Trance tried. Dylan sighed.
“Do friends force you to stay with them?” Trance shook her head and he continued. “Well then.” Trance almost jumped up and down with frustration.
“But you don’t understand!” she yelled, “I know she’s in danger! We don’t have to make her come back. We don’t even have to ask her to come back, we can just check up on her, see if she’s ok!” Dylan raised an eyebrow.
“Check up on her, like we think she can’t take care of herself? It’ll drive her mad.” Trance pouted.
“Maybe. But if we do find her eventually, and she’s hurt, or dead, and it could have been prevented, it would be your fault!” She turned on her heel and walked off, an arrogant bounce in her step that wasn’t usually seen in the purple pixie. Dylan sighed. Maybe Trance was right. He’d have to think about it.
Trance stopped behind a corner, sighing deeply. She hadn’t been entirely truthful with Dylan. She didn’t think they would find her dead, and she probably wasn’t even in immediate danger. But it was all in the perception. She just had a feeling there was something very wrong, and if they didn’t find Beka soon, she might not be the same Beka for very much longer.
****
Beka tried her hardest to smile and be polite with the other girls, but it was a lot of hard work.
“It’ll pay off,” she reminded herself. “It’s always hard to make friends in the beginning, but it always pays off. Just think of Harper.” Her forced smile faded. She didn’t want to think about Harper. It really wasn’t what she needed.
“You need to eat.” It was Mariah’s voice, sounding concerned. Beka flinched and looked up. She hadn’t even seen her for a good while, but here she was.
“I’m not really hungry,” Beka lied. Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie. Her “job” made food feel impossible to eat. She felt so sick all the time, eating was just…no. Mariah frowned, but was cut off by her father, walking past.
“Don’t prompt her,” he said in a voice that was a little harsher than necessary. “Food costs money, and if she doesn’t want to eat, that’ll cut down on our costs.” Beka had to bite her lip not to snap at him, but managed to restrain herself. Mariah seemed to be doing the same. Mr Culligan looked her over.
“On the other hand,” he said, “clients don’t like their women bony, and I swear she’s lost weight since she got here.” He shrugged. “Well, she’ll eat eventually, and if she gets too thin, we’ll sort something out.” He moved on, leaving Beka’s blood boiling. All he cared about was his stupid money. She’d like to give him a piece of her mind, but she couldn’t afford to get thrown out. That could, no it would cost her her life. So there was nothing she could do but grim and bear it. Mariah sighed.
“Sorry about that,” she mumbled. “Don’t take any notice of what he says. But you should try to eat something. I know you probably don’t feel like it, but having no energy will just make everything seem so much worse.” Beka knew she was right. If she felt depressed and skipped eating, it just made her feel more depressed. Still, the nausea was hard to overcome, and as she took a bite out of her bun, she gagged as if to throw up. She dropped it back onto the plate, hoping it would get better. And soon, preferably.
She looked up at the other girls’ and followed their conversation. It struck her that they had to be doing something else than working and sleeping, and talking to each other seemed to be it. At the moment, they seemed to be sharing stories about customers, laughing at stupid men and strange fetishes. She wasn’t quite ready to join into any discussions yet, but listened carefully and laughed when the others were laughing.
And it felt a hell of a lot better than she’d have imagined.
