So dark. So cold. Beka clutched the duvet, desperate for comfort, but she wasn’t sure what was happening anymore. Was he coming for her? He seemed as though he wanted her, but wasn’t acting on it.
“Are you there?” The thought bounced in her head. “Are you there, waiting for me? Waiting for the right moment to come in here and take me? Maybe you’re just playing tricks with me? Or maybe…maybe it never happened. Maybe it’s my mind playing tricks on me. Is it all just a dream?” Oh how she wished it was, but opening her eyes, she knew none of it was a dream. No nightmares could beat this reality. Unable to sleep, she rose from her bed. She was already dressed, too afraid to have taken her clothes off, so she was ready to leave. She stopped before opening the door, uncertain of what she’d find. What if he stopped her again?
“Why does it bother me?” she asked herself. The thought, starting as merely a brief distraction, turned into something else. Why did it bother her so much? Why was he different? He was old and ugly, sure. But so were a lot of her customers. Was it because of his violence? Beka pondered it for a second. Maybe. Maybe she was afraid she couldn’t stop him once he’d started. She’d become his toy, and there was nothing she could do about it. She opened the door slightly and relief came over her as she realised there was no one there. She slipped out, crossing her arms over her chest, holding onto herself in a protecting gesture as her feet gently slipped over the carpeted floor, careful not to make a sound.
Where was she going? She didn’t even know that. She felt like she had to go somewhere, talk to someone. She wasn’t safe. Not alone. She shook her head violently as her steps sped up. Quickly.
As her feet rapidly moved down the stairs, her thoughts moved quicker. Him. Her impression was that he hadn’t slept with any of the women before. Why her? Why now? She was afraid of what might happen. Maybe he’d want her to himself. Maybe he’d stop her sleeping with anyone else, and he wouldn’t pay her. What if he just kept her there for as long as he wanted her, as his. She wouldn’t get out. She’d looked in his eyes, and she was afraid of it happening. It would be even worse than it already was.
She opened the door, exiting the brothel. It was daytime. Quiet. Safe. She ran.
****
“This seems a futile mission,” Tyr said with as much of a sigh as he would ever muster. “How are we going to find her?” Dylan tried to ignore him, but the Nietzschean was right. He hadn’t thought of it, but how were they meant to find her?
“Dylan!” Andromeda popped up on the screen. “I’m picking up the Maru’s signature nearby!” Dylan nearly jumped.
“That’s not possible!” he shouted, but it was a shout of joy. “We’ve only just started.” Trance came running in.
“It’s not impossible,” she said with a smile, “just very lucky.” Dylan threw her a glance and shook his head.
“Set a course,” he said with a smile on his face. They’d found her!
****
She sank down against the wall, trying to collect her thoughts. Ok, so what had she just done? Ran away? Left, like she said she never would? She swallowed, trying to make sense of her thoughts and her actions. She’d promised herself to stick it out, but what if her suspicions were true? What if he’d keep her as his toy? She wouldn’t earn money. She’d never get out. A voice startled her.
“What are you doing???” She looked up. It was Mariah, staring at her with a bewildered expression. Beka shook her head and pulled up her knees, leaning her head against them. Tears started to form in her eyes. She wasn’t sure why they were now, but somehow she couldn’t stop them. Mariah kneeled down next to her.
“What happened?” she asked softly. Beka tried to reply, but her words turned to sobs. Mariah stroked her hair, trying to calm her down. She felt embarrassed and tried to straighten herself out.
“Nothing,” she said quickly. “I just got a bit confused. I’m ok now. Shall we go back?” Mariah sighed.
“Rebekah…what happened?” Beka shook her head.
“I can’t tell you,” she whispered. Sure, Mariah knew what a creep her father was, but how could she tell his daughter about his violent come-ons? How could she possibly? Mariah nodded.
“Well, why don’t we go back, and we can go into your room, and you can tell me there?” Beka contemplated this for a second. It would be nice not having to be alone, and besides, she was starting work in only an hour. If she did go back, that was…
Then she remembered what would happen to her if she didn’t, and saw sense at last.
“Besides,” she thought, “the choice to leave is always there.” So she took Mariah’s hand and let her lead her back to the brothel.
****
“There it is,” Trance said with a smile, pointing to the view screen. The battered little ship had never looked so beautiful. Still, through the happiness, Trance knew something wasn’t right. She’d known that all along, but the feeling got stronger the closer they got. Still, just looking at the ship there seemed to be nothing at all unusual. Dylan spoke up.
“Eureka Maru, this is Andromeda. Please respond.” And they held their breath.
****
So finally she’d told. Beka turned away from Mariah, not wanting to see her face. The shame was somehow too much to bear. Mariah was silent for a few moments before speaking again.
“He’s done it before,” she said quietly. Beka stopped sobbing for a moment.
“He has?” she said. She knew she shouldn’t be surprised, but she was. Mariah sighed.
“Yes,” she said. “He generally gets his way, but I wouldn’t worry too much. He’ll sleep with them a few times, but most girls has actually seen it as a good thing. The nights he spends with them he lets them off work, and he gives them more money than they would have earned, and for at least a few months later, he lets them keep all their tips.” She nervously patted Beka’s shoulder, and Beka suddenly felt silly for thinking what she had. She turned around.
“So he won’t…decide I’m only his and keep me here forever?” Mariah shook her head and smiled.
“Oh no,” she said, “he gets bored far too quickly for that. Don’t worry. I obviously can’t, but most women here would say go for it.” She cringed. “Apparently the benefits are worth it.” She turned to leave. “Well, hopefully you can get some sleep before your first customer.” Beka smiled at her and laid down on the pillow, a little calmer now.
Should she “go for it?” Beka shuddered. Maybe. Maybe not.
