She hadn’t really had much choice had she? Going back to the Andromeda or staying on the drift? Maybe emotionally, staying on the drift would have been easier, but in the end, it all came down to survival. On the drift, she’d have died, but on Andromeda she’d just…want to die. She sighed. Life was a bitch.
“Beka?” She cursed under her breath as the voice of her captain reached her ears. She really did not need to talk to him. Then again, she couldn’t evade him forever.
“Come in,” she said quietly with a surrendering sigh. He entered, looking nearly as awkward as she felt. How could he be though? He hadn’t been the one to live through that, to be exposed with such a…
“I thought we should talk.” She didn’t reply, just nervously played with her hair, rolling it around her fingers. Her activities seemed to make him notice the sudden change in her appearance. As if he hadn’t before, it was quite noticeable!
“What’s with the hair? And the eyes?” She cleared her throat, looking anywhere but on him.
“I saw on the news…you were looking for me. I didn’t want to be recognised.”
“Oh.” He seemed partly surprised at this. “So you didn’t want to come back?” She rose and swallowed the lump in her throat as she walked away from him, trying her best not to cry. She couldn’t bear herself to reply, knowing if she even opened her mouth, she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears anymore. When had it come to this? Did they expect her to stay around, go back to her duties? Did she expect her to? She’d worried so much about going back to the Andromeda, and yet, here she was. It was that or death. He sighed. “Trance wanted to see you for a medical check-up.”
“I’ll be fine.” She couldn’t hold back a sob as she spoke to him and bit her lip as tears started to run down her cheeks. He could not see her crying. He could not…but he’d heard anyway, and awkwardly started walking towards the door.
“Well, I’ll leave you alone then,” he mumbled. Gratitude as well as bitterness went through her at once. She wanted him to leave, yes, but still…after all she’d gone through and as soon as there was a little emotions, he bailed.
As he left, she went over to lie on the bed, crying herself to sleep.
****
She woke up feeling strangely uncomfortable, and realising dried tears stained her face as well as the pillow, she decided a shower would be in order. She reluctantly got out of bed, stretching and shaking her head, grimacing as she realised a headache was coming on. Sliding out of yesterday’s clothes, she stepped into the shower, allowing the hot water to clean her body. As it ran down her body, she started to feel guilty. Very guilty. Even if she wasn’t happy here, the brothel hadn’t been a good place to stay either. How could she have just left Mariah and all the other girls there? They could take them all on Andromeda, and then drop them off somewhere. She could go with them. They could set up their own business, brothel or otherwise. Stepping out of the shower she got dressed quickly, not wanting to waste another moment.
****
She walked into the gym, knowing she would find him there. He was the last person she wanted to talk to after his comment in the brothel room, and the way she knew he looked down on her, but she had to.
“Tyr?” She tried to make her voice sound more confident than she felt. His only reply was a nod and a raised eyebrow. “Um…I need to ask a favour of you.” She hated doing it, but had no choice.
“And what would that be?”
“Well, I need to go back to the drift to talk to someone. But I need you to come with me.”
“And why is that?” She swallowed. If she mentioned fear of being attacked, he might figure out it had happened before, something she was not ready to talk about. But that was why she wanted him, to dodge off possible attackers…rapists.
“Just in case there’s a fight or something?” Her voice was pleading and she cursed herself. To her great surprise though, he replied with a nod and a small smile.
“Are we going now?” She shook her head.
“No, tonight. Later. I’ll let you know. Oh, and Tyr…thanks.” He smiled slightly at her before returning to his weights.
Somehow walking through the corridors of Andromeda felt strangely at home. It shouldn’t do, after all the trouble she’d went through not to go back there, but in some strange way, it did.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself Valentine,” she reminded herself, “you’re not staying here. No chance.” She wasn’t, was she? If they could let her off anywhere else, she could continue her life. Maybe they could even find the Maru first. No, that was too much to ask for, wasn’t it? She would though, one day. When she had the money. As it was now, she hadn’t even managed to get the money she’d saved up before being thrown out of the brothel, so she was completely skint, just like normal.
Shaking her ridiculously long hair as it got into her face, she wondered briefly whether she should change it back or not. The short blonde hairstyle had suited her, and she had liked it. So why not?
Because she wasn’t that person anymore. Keeping this new hairdo reminded her, and others, that she was different, that she’d changed. Maybe she’d never change back. Maybe if she did, they’d assume she’d stay. Maybe they assumed that anyway. She’d never actually said she’d stay, but she’d never said she’d go either. Then again, she’d left right? Just because she’d got in a bit of trouble, it didn’t mean she was coming running back as if nothing ever happened. Hopefully Dylan would have the mercy to transport the rest of the prostitutes off the drift. Maybe she should actually ask him. She set course for his office.
****
“So you want me to take all these women onboard Andromeda and taxi them somewhere?” She gave her former captain a pleading gaze.
“I wouldn’t ask you if it wasn’t important. But that drift is nearly impossible to get off, and they don’t deserve to have to stay there. Please?” He sighed.
“Well,” he admitted, “I guess it’s a small prize to pay to have you back.” She swallowed. Maybe telling him now that she’d be leaving would be a very bad idea. So she just smiled at him.
“Thanks Dylan. It really does mean a lot to me.” She wouldn’t bring Mr Culligan though. Would be nice to see him having to survive there, exploited just as he had exploited her, and many others. Yes, he’d get what he deserved.
