“Are you all mad?” The look on Mariah’s face was a mix of anger and borderline hysteria. “You have just escaped that g*dd*mn place, and you’re planning on continuing in the same line of work now that you’re free?”
“Well,” one woman protested, “Why shouldn’t we?” They were all preparing to leave and had again fallen into the conversation on what they were going to do once they got there.
“Because,” Mariah said through gritted teeth, “it has destroyed all of you for months and I’ll be damned if I let it destroy any one of you more than it already has! Don’t you get it? Just because you have been shutting off your feelings so far doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it. You can do whatever you want now. There are so much better things you could do instead of being prostitutes. Come on! We’re going to be living on a proper world, have proper homes. Surely you all have dreams?” The next few moments that followed were filled with a dead silence before a young brunette spoke up.
“I always wanted to be a singer,” she admitted, “but where I grew up I never had the chance.”
“I used to be an engineer,” an elder woman said, “maybe I could get back to that.” Mumbles spread through the room and it seemed like everyone had some form of plan. Beka’s own mind was wandering, but she wasn’t sure how she liked this new outcome. However, it wasn’t like she needed anyone else to do her job. She could do whatever she wanted without anyone else having to help her, right? Without saying anything, she swallowed as she looked at the time, knowing it was only an hour before she had to decide. Well, she had already decided, but it felt so strange. She knew she didn’t want to stay. She knew she had to go, so what was she worrying about? She didn’t notice Mariah coming up to her before the other woman had grabbed her by the shoulders.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, “but I can’t let you come.” Beka’s head snapped up and she stared disbelievingly at Mariah.
“What do you mean you can’t…”
“Look, I know you’ll be mad at me now, but I can live with that. You saved me from that drift and I’m forever grateful for that. Therefore I have to pay you back, and even though it might not seem like I’m doing you a favour now, you will understand later. You have to stay here. It’ll be hard at first, trying to re-establish yourself into this family, but you will, and you will be happier here than anywhere else.”
“But…”
“No buts. You’re staying.”
****
Beka wasn’t sure whether this was a good or a bad memory, but it had now been two weeks since Mariah had almost forcibly managed to get her to stay onboard the Andromeda. The rest of the crew hadn’t reacted much, but it seemed like they had assumed she’d stay since they found her on the drift. If there had been any doubts they were certainly hiding it well. Part of her was grateful that they treated her like normal, but another part hated it. Somehow she wanted them to recognise how things had changed at least a little bit. As it was now, she knew they all thought it, but wouldn’t say it, which was a lot worse than them just saying what they were thinking. She curled up on her side, biting her lip to stop herself from crying again. She’d done way too much crying lately. She wasn’t sure why. When she’d been at the brothel she’d hardly cried at all, and now she was like a human fountain. It didn’t make sense.
“At least now I’m not constantly having sex,” she thought, trying to see things on the bright side. The time when she had actually enjoyed the activity was now a bleak memory and she briefly wondered if she ever would again. Not that it really mattered, she had much more important things to think about. Like how to get through her next shift without showing any form of emotion. She didn’t want anyone to know how she was feeling, it was embarrassing somehow. She was out of danger now, back in her normal life and she was meant to be happy. Yet she was unhappier now than she had been in a very long time.
****
Harper glanced over at Beka where she was sitting in the slipstream chair, her long red hair covering her face from his view. She’d had that hair colour when they first met, but it had never been long. In fact, he was certain she’d said she hated long hair because it always got in the way. He sighed. It wasn’t her hair he was worried about though. Ever since she’d come back she had seemed to close up more and more and she just always appeared to be so sad. He sighed. He would try to talk to her about it later, but right now there was no time. They were meeting an ambassador for a world wanting to join the commonwealth, and they all had to be on their best behaviour. He just hoped it wouldn’t take too long. As they walked towards the hangar bay where the ambassador had just docked, he cast a worried glance at Beka. She seemed to have herself quite pulled together, and he wished it wasn’t just an act. They walked into the hangar bay and Harper looked at the ambassador with a sigh, hoping Dylan would decide to talk to him in private or something so that he could go. He heard a gasp behind him and turned around, puzzled. Beka’s eyes were wide and her mouth slightly opened as she suddenly turned and ran.
“I do apologise Ambassador,” Dylan mumbled, “I will go get her back immediately.” The ambassador strangely did not look confused, but just patted Dylan’s shoulder affectionately.
“Oh don’t worry,” he said, “maybe she just had something that needed to be done. On our world we don’t take things too seriously. In fact, I had hoped to just take a stroll around your ship for a while.” Dylan looked drawn between his commonwealth pride and his willingness to adapt to other people.
“All right,” he finally agreed. “I’ll give you a tour.” The ambassador shook his head, a little too quickly in Harper’s opinion.
“Ah, no thank you, though it is very kind of you. I prefer to take my strolls alone, in silence. I am sure your marvellous ship can make sure I don’t do anything wrong.” Dylan again seemed to be battling with himself, but finally smiled.
“Yes, all right then.” The ambassador smiled graciously as he walked out the doors. Harper moved to follow, but was stopped by Dylan.
“Let’s just leave her, Harper.”
“But…something’s wrong and…”
“She’s obviously been through a lot of things and while I’m sure she could use a friend, it should be her choice. She’ll come to us eventually Harper, I promise.” Harper sighed, but he had to agree. He just couldn’t fight the feeling that something was terribly wrong.
****
Beka rushed into a room, which happened to be Hydroponics. Trying to make sense of her thoughts, she found it was an impossible task. All her feelings were a mess and she wasn’t sure why she’d run off, why she hadn’t stayed with others, where she was safe. Somehow running had seemed the only plausible option, and now she was left with the horrible feeling of panic that made her want to run fast and hide at the same time. It couldn’t have been him. It couldn’t, could it?
“Engage privacy mode,” a voice said from behind her. She spun around and gasped, not having noticed anyone entering the room.
Her eyes grew wide. What she already knew, now confirmed. She couldn’t utter a word as she stared into the face of her rapist.
