Beka was pacing the room back and forth. She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. It wasn’t what she’d expected. She’d expected it to be bad, that was true. She’d expected it to be something horrible. She’d expected to get sold as a slave, she’d expected to do hard labour for hardly no money, she’d expected…she’d expected lots of bad things. But not this bad.
“I can’t do it,” she cried, burying her face in her hands. “I can’t even bear to have you touch me. I can’t even…” she turned to Mariah, who was looking utterly helpless. “You don’t understand,” she said quietly, tears running down her face at a quick pace. “Every time I close my eyes, he’s there in front of me. I never, ever want anyone touching me again. Not like that. It’s like…” she shook her arms wildly about, “I used to actually like…I never want to do it again, not with anyone!” She gave Mariah an exasperated look, then tried to calm down. “Does he make you do it as well?” she said quietly. Mariah shook her head.
“No,” she said. “He’d never let anyone touch me. My job is…” she swallowed. “My job is to find people for him.” Beka pulled her fingers through her hair.
“So all this, being nice to me, it was all a lie to get me to do your dirty work then?” Mariah wildly shook her hair, rising to grab hold of Beka’s face, holding her still.
“No.” she said calmly. “Believe me, I wish I didn’t have to do this.” Beka tried to move, but the other woman had her face in a tight grip.
“So don’t!” she cried. “Just let me go.” Mariah let go of her face, taking a step back.
“I could,” she said. “No one’s forcing you to be here.” Beka frowned, but Mariah hadn’t finished yet. “I did want to help you. Look, I’m not going to lie to you. My father is not a good man, and he’s in charge around here. From now on, how you are being treated has nothing to do with me. I pick up the pieces, then he takes over. Every woman in this place is someone I’ve found. Most of them rape victims. If you stay here you’ll have to do…a lot of things you don’t want to do. You won’t get paid much, and you won’t be happy. He’s not a good Samaritan, my father. He doesn’t care about your trauma. He doesn’t care if you’re happy.” Something inside Beka made her almost want to laugh.
“So,” she said, “I’ll leave. Isn’t it an obvious choice?” Mariah stepped up closer, her face hard and cold.
“Maybe,” she said, “but what do you think is going to happen if you don’t stay? What do you think would have happened if I hadn’t picked you up from the floor?” Beka didn’t answer, and Mariah continued. “I’ll tell you what would have happened. You would have stayed. You might have got up again but what do you think would have happened the next night?” Beka opened her mouth to reply, but the other woman was too quick. “I’ll tell you what. Exactly the same thing. And the next? Oh, I don’t know. Hold on. I do. The same thing. And again. And again. Until one night, when you wouldn’t be so lucky. Someone would rape you, and then kill you. At least here you’re safe. It might not be what you’re used to, you might be doing what you least of all want to do, but it’s your only choice. Whatever you do, you will get used. At least here you’ll be safe. You’ll have a roof over your head, you’ll get fed, you’ll get a little payment. You won’t get killed. You won’t get hurt. My father might be a bastard, but he makes sure his…workers are safe.” Beka didn’t know what to say. It made perfect sense, but part of her would rather take her chances.
“Isn’t there any way to get off the drift?” Mariah shrugged.
“A few of the girls did. They stayed here for a couple of years, saved up enough money to pay a freighter to take them off.” Beka sighed.
“Can’t I offer to work on a freighter?” Mariah shook her head.
“No, they don’t do that. You get so much strange people here. They don’t generally take anyone on unless you pay them a lot. If you save all your money you might be out in two years or so. But that’s the best I can offer you.” She gave Beka a warning glance. “Don’t even think about asking one of the lowlifes that come here for a lift. They’ll use you as a sextoy and then kill you when they get bored. Leaving is not an option. I…” she swallowed and turned away. Beka was sure she saw tears forming in her eyes. “Some of them tried. A few stayed around the drift and eventually got killed. Some of them actually managed to find someone to take them off the drift. They said they’d contact me to tell me they were safe. They never did. Now they might just have forgotten, but…judging by the characters that took them, I doubt it.” She looked back at Beka with tears in her eyes. “Please Rebekah. I know right now you want to run a million miles. But it won’t get better, it’ll only get worse.” Beka sank down on the bed.
“What am I going to do?” she whispered. Mariah sat down next to her.
“The only thing you can do,” she said. “Stay. There is no other way.” Beka threw her a suspicious look.
“How do I know you’re not lying?” she accused. “Maybe you’re just saying all this so I’ll stay. Maybe it’s easy to get out of here.” Mariah sighed.
“See, that’s the problem. I can’t prove it to you. But…if it was so easy…” She gave Beka a sincere look. “Why am I still here?”
****
“Rev? Can I talk to you?” The magog turned to Trance with a sigh.
“I think I know why you’re here,” he said in a calm voice. Trance walked up to him, her tail limply hanging on the floor.
“Something really bad will happen,” she whispered, hugging herself tightly, as if the obs deck had suddenly gone cold. Rev nodded to her.
“It was Beka’s own choice to leave,” he said. “No matter how unfortunate that might be, we must respect her wishes.” Trance nodded.
“I know,” she said calmly. “But Harper’s been pestering me ever since she left and…it’s made me see stuff. Beka needs to be here.” She sighed. “Things will not go well, not for her and not for us. It’s already breaking up.” Rev glanced at her.
“We are all upset,” he said, “but that does not mean it’s breaking up. Beka might come back, and she might not. I sincerely hope she will, but if she doesn’t, we are going to have to adapt. No matter how much it hurts.” Trance shook her head.
“That’s not what I meant,” she said. “I meant the perfect…I meant, the way things will go. And also for Beka. Something wrong, I just know it. Rev, don’t you think we should look for her?” Rev sighed.
“I have known Beka for a very long time,” he said. “She’s a strong woman. She can overcome whatever’s haunting her and come out better off. Whatever her choices might be, she will survive. Now Trance, I know there might be more to you than we know…but you must leave this alone.” Trance sighed. Maybe he was right. But herself, she didn’t believe it.